Author: Bert Ehrmann

Dangerous Universe has been Bert’s web playground since 1998 when personal web sites were a rarity rather than the norm.

Top Movies of 2003

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2003’s been a weird year at the box office. Movies like “The Hulk” and “The Matrix: Revolutions” should have been hits were instead flops. And the number one movie at the box office last Summer was an animated adventure instead of the standard action “blow stuff up” fare.

It’ll be interesting to see just how the movie studios handle this Summer’s mess in the years to come. I wonder if we’ll see less action and more variety in movies for the coming Summer season. (Somehow, I doubt this.)

Best Movie of the Year – 28 Days Later: It’s been nearly half a year since I first saw this movie and I’m still thinking about it. Movies don’t usually effect me in such a way. Most times I forget about the movie until it comes out on DVD then debate whether or not to pick it up. With “28 Days Later” I was thinking about it from the time I left the theater to the time it (finally) came out on DVD.

I think it’s the idea behind 28 Days Later that makes the movie memorable. The idea that over the course of a very short period of time everything that we know can fall apart permiates the film. That it’s possible one day we could be going to the supermarket and the next we’re fighting for our lives outside that same market. 28 Days Later hits home in the post 9/11 world that we live in.

Since the movie was shot on a digital camera it adds to the whole “you are there” creepy feeling. (If you’ve never seen the movie trust me, the world that 28 Days Later exists in isn’t a place you want to visit!)

28 Days Later has probably single handedly reinvented the zombie/horror/holocaust movie. I would guess that this year’s”Dawn of the Dead” remake owes some of it’s being made to the success of 28 Days Later.

The rest, in alphabetical order:
Finding Nemo: I’ve liked every Pixar movie that’s come out since “Toy Story” back in 1995. Every single feature they’ve made since their first has been pure gold. Not one has been a “miss” and “Finding Nemo” was no exception. From the story that hits your heart to the animation that makes Pixar’s ocean look more inviting than the real one, Finding Nemo’s a winner.

Kill Bill: Kinetic action mixed with Tarintino’s sense of dialogue is a pleasure to watch. And what is “Kill Bill” other than “kinetic action” and “Tarintino’s sense of dialogue?” Best of all the fight scenes are about as far away from the “Matrix” style fight scenes as a movie can get. (And we’re living in a world permiated with Matrix style fight scenes.) Kill Bill really harkened back to those old style 1960’s and 1970’s early asian kung-fu action movies. “Keeeeeeey-Ah!”

X-Men 2: X-Men United: I didn’t like the first X-Men movie. I found the storyline dull and the characters uninteresting. So I wasn’t too excited when the second movie was released but still went to see it anyway. About a half hour into the movie I realized that X2 was great! The characters/plot elements were more inline with the stories that came from the comic books and the action was over the top in a good way. There were elements in the story that I felt that only a true fan would understand. (How lame is that?)

I find myself counting the days until the next X-Men is released.

Top TV Shows of 2003

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Top Television Shows of 2003
It’s been a long year for television shows this season. Nothing new seems to be working. The big hit this season is a show that didn’t premiere in the traditional Fall time slot rather starting last Summer;”The O.C.” Failures seem to be more common than hits. (The US version of “Coupling”, I’m looking in your general direction.)

Still, some great television shows were out in 2003. You just had to know where to look for them.

Top Television Shows:
Best Show of the Year – The Office: To say that “The Office” is a “mockumentary” on the workings of the modern corporation would be a disservice to the show. The Office is so much more. One one level it’s one of the best written comedies to ever grace television screens. On another level it’s a study between the relationships between the management and worker class in today’s society. (Seriously.)

I discovered The Office last Summer on BBC America and then had to wait a few months for season 2. The weird nature of British sitcoms means that a full season of The Office is something like just six episodes long. (Six episodes of an American series is just a quarter or so of one season.)

Worst of all, season 3 of The Office is only two episodes long. (This season has already aired over in Great Britain.) The creators of the show, Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant, want to take it off the air while it’s still on top. And believe me, this show is ON TOP!

Now I just have to wait until Season 3 pops up on BBC America. It’s going to be a long wait!

The rest, in alphabetical order:
Arrested Development: Who’d have thought that a sitcom from Ron Howard’s company would turn out to be the funniest new show on network television? I can’t say enough good things about this show. From David Cross (“Mr. Show”) having a supporting role in the show to breaking the standard three camera sitcom format. Best of all is the use of a Segway in comedic situations. I never thought an overpriced personal transport could be funny!

Coupling (UK): No, I’m not talking about the US version of this show. Whereas the US version was simply bad, the UK version was genuinely funny. Several times during each episode I find myself laughing out loud. It’s too bad that the best character of the series, Jeff, won’t be returning for the season 4.

Scrubs: The third year of “Scrubs” should have been the one where the show jumped the shark. That’s when series usually turn the corner from the original vision of the creators and become something different. Instead, the third season of Scrubs was the best yet. “Scurbs” follows the dev elopement of three doctors and their friends/co-workers in a Los Angeles hospital. In reality, Scrubs is really about is growing up. The characters introduced in the first season have grown into doctors of their own in season 3. That is what’s so different about this show. The characters grow, and change, as the situations they’re in change.

The Wire: After watching “Homicide: Life on the Street” this year on DVD, I can see how a show like “The Wire” really evolved from it. It’s the thinking man’s cop show. There aren’t too many shoot-outs or car chases. Instead we see the drudgery that often follows police work on long term cases and views from the “other” side of the law. The Wire focuses on the nuances rather than the big picture. It’s almost as if we’re watching some great chess match; the police make their moves which are followed by the criminals. Like chess, the show can run slow but it’s one heck of a ride.

Summer Movie Preview

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As the summer movie season winds down over the next few weeks here is a rundown on the movies I saw this season and what I thought about them:

The Good

“X-Men 2: X-Men United”
I’m not ashamed to say that I’m not a big fan of the original X-Men movie. To put it simply it wasn’t that good. However, “X-Men 2” delivered on the levels that the first missed. I actually cared about the characters and the storyline was engaging. Heck, even the visual effects were stunning. I’m excited at the proscpect of another sequel – will the “Dark Phoenix” make an appearance? Time will only tell.

“28 Days Later…”
28 Days Later…” is, simply put, a great, scary movie that inserts certain images into your head that won’t go away. Like the church full of corpses who aren’t all dead, the fish tank three fourths of the way drained of water with fish still inside, London with the lights off (except for one), an entire city on fire, etc. Visually the movie is excellent shot entirely on video giving the movie a “you’re there kind of feel.”
It’s more than a simple zombie movie, “28 Days Later…” feels genuine. And that’s where the power of this movie lies, it doesn’t pull any punches. The movie is shoved down the viewers throat with the force of a Mac truck. I found myself wanting more.

“The League of Extraordinary Gentleman”
Even though “The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen” is not all that faithful to the comic omehow the tone of everything is there. It’s sort of like how Jurassic Park the movie bore little resemblance to Jurassic Park the book, yet each was good in their own right.

I’m sort of upset that the movie didn’t do as well as it could have in movie theaters. The movie must have not connected with the audience on some level.

The Mediocre

“Pirates of The Caribbean -The Curse of the Black Pearl”
I don’t think the movie could decide what it wanted to be – a serious action piece (people are attacked, throats are cut) or a goofball dramety (a pirate has a wooden eye, Johnny Depp rides a sinking boat into port) in the vein of the ride that was the inspiration of the movie.

The movie looked wonderful. The costumes looked great. The scenery looked great. The CGI looked great. There was just something missing between the complex, and sometimes very long, swordplay and bits of story along the way.

(Yes, I realize that I’m in the minority here on this movie and that just about everyone else really like it. Still, I didn’t leave the theater satisfied and wanting more.)

“Seabiscuit”
The audience in the theater I saw the movie in broke out in cheers when Seabiscuit wins a major race. I can’t remember the last time an audience at a movie actually clapped so I suppose the majority of the audience was really into the movie.

My main contention with the movie was that the filmmakers kept shoving the main theme of the movie down the viewers throats; that even though something is old and damaged doesn’t mean that it needs to be discarded. Again and again characters would deliver their speeches to each other with this theme.

I found myself thinking “enough already, I get it.”

“Wrong Turn”
Yes, I was one of the three people who actually saw “Wrong Turn.” The movie would have been a lot better if the creators would have turned away from all the usual trappings of the horror movie genera. You know what I mean; characters who have sex are killed, the “bad-guys” are seemingly indestructable, etc. And, the plot of the movie, that there is a clan of inbread/mutated hill-jack cannibled living in the woods of West Virginia, seems to be recycled from an X-Files episode I once saw.

Still, the movie isn’t horrible and is borderline enjoyable.

The Ugly

“The Matrix Reloaded”
The word that best describes the movie “The Matrix Reloaded” is “letdown.” Imagine if “The Empire Strikes Back” really-really sucked after the glory that was “Star Wars.” That pretty much defines what The Matrix Reloaded was to me – dull and uninteresting at best.

What made “The Matrix” so special was lost.

Just the fact that the entire first half of the movie could have been cut away without effecting the story of the last half is indicitive of the movie’s low quality. There’s a twenty minute orgy/dance/rave scene. Orgy/Dance/rave scenes do NOT belong in action movies.

“Hulk”
Part of the movie is an exploration of what turns Bruce Banner into the Hulk; the gamma rays and the experaments his father did before he was born. The other part, too small in my opionion, is the Hulk on a rampage tearing things apart. The movie constantly takes leaps of logic like people INTENTIONALLY TRY TO TURN BRUCE BANNER INTO THE HULK!? Wouldn’t that be the last thing you’d want to do? I found myself constantly going “What? That makes no sense at all.”

The movie’s titled “The Hulk” yet is Hulk-less for the first hour of a very long movie. In fact, the Hulk’s in the movie so little the true title of the movie should be “Bruce Banner.” A long car ride is better than watching the Hulk.

2003-2004 Television Pilots (Incomplete at Best)

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Last Updated – 03/09/03
Begun – 01/19/03
Compiled from Zap2It.com & Entertainment Weekly
If you have any additions/corrections to this list, please send Bert an e-mail.
Relive the 2002-2003 Television Pilots

Network – Fox
“Untitled“: Adam Shankman (“The Wedding Planner” ) will direct. About a couple that breaks up but continues working together on an advice column.

“Mister Ed“: Remake of the 1960s comedy. The show will have the same premise as the original — a guy owns a horse that talks, but only to him. The twist for the remake is that the horse has a hip-hop sensibility instead of the original’s countrified drawl.

“No Place Like Home“: A drama about two teens who get married despite their wildly different backgrounds. Rebecca DeMornay will play the mother of the bride, baffled by her daughter’s behavior and struggling with her husband’s imprisonment for embezzlement.

“Cracking Up“: A psychology grad student living in the guest house of a eccentric Beverly Hills clan and becomes their house shrink. (Or) Revolves around a college student studying psychology who moves into a guest house owned by a seemingly perfect family. He soon realizes, however, that the family is a mess and ends up counseling them. Starring Nicholas D’Agosto (“Election, “Psycho Beach Party”) and Molly Shannon (“Saturday Night Live.”)

“Title Town“, or “Titletown“: From “That ’70s Show” executive producer Linda Wallem. Follows three families who live in a small-town cul-de-sac and all live for one thing: the Green Bay Packers. (Or) About several families who live in Green Bay, Wis., and are devoted fans of the NFL’s Packers.

“The Warrens“: Revolves around an upper-middle-class African-American family.

“Untitled“: Drama set at a luxury hotel in the Hamptons.

“Richie Rich“: The latest incarnation of the poor little rich boy will find Richie Rich as a teenager living in present-day New York. “We see him as kind a JFK Jr. type living it up in New York,” said Susanne Daniels. “There’s a sense of empowerment about him for kids — he always got away with a lot because of his money, but he was really always generous and good to his friends.”

“The Mallards“: About a family whose life is disrupted when the father’s illegitimate teenage son comes to meet him. (Or) Comedy about an affluent family whose life is disrupted when the father’s illegitimate son moves in with them. Starring Greg Germann (“Ally McBeal.”)

“Untitled“: Luis Guzman ( “Boogie Nights,” “Oz” ) as a businessman and unofficial mayor of his Spanish Harlem neighborhood.

“Untitled“: “Eraser” meets “Face/Off.” From John Woo.

“Untitled“: A woman fresh out of college finds she has the power to alter the course of events and save people’s lives. The feel is similar to that of time-warping movies like “Run Lola Run” and “Groundhog Day.” (Or) A young woman who discovers she can go back in time and relive a day in order to save lives. Rob Cohen (“XXX”) or Phillip Noyce (“The Quiet American” “Rabbit-Proof Fence” ) will direct. Starring Eliza Dushku (“Buffy the Vampire Slayer”, “Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.”)

“Untitled” : Centers on a woman who can communicate with animals and uses her ability to help people.

“Skin” : A modernized version of the classic story of “Romeo and Juliet” set against the backdrop of the adult-film industry. Ron Silver will star as a Los Angeles adult film impresario.Jerry Bruckheimer is producing.

“The O.C.” : From “Fastlane” executive producer McG and writer Josh Schwartz. To be directed by Doug Liman, director of “The Bourne Identity.” Its lead character is a streetwise teenager adjusting to life in an affluent part of Orange County, Calif. Also features a public defender whose idealism is put at risk by the world of money, comfort and complacency of Orange County. (Or) About a group of young adults trying to start their lives in a wealthy area of Orange County. Starring Peter Gallagher (“American Beauty,” “Mr. Deeds”.)

“The Break” : The Hawaii-based show is from John Stockwell, who directed last year’s surfer-girl movie “Blue Crush” and the 2001 teen romance “Crazy/Beautiful.” It’s about a cop who returns to Hawaii from the mainland to reunite with his son and work as an undercover officer. Starring Dylan Bruno (“Rage: Carrie 2”), Brooke Langton (“Melrose Place,” “Swinger.)

“Still Life” : The story of a family seen through the deceased eyes of their 22-year-old son who has recently passed away.

“No Place Like Home” : Revolves around two families from different backgrounds who are forced together when their teenage children decide to get married.

“NYPD 2069” : A futuristic cop show from Stephen Bochco. Being referred to as “Steven Bochco’s frozen cop drama.” (Or) After someone tries to murderv New York City detective Alex Franco in the present day, he’s cryogenically frozen and not reanimated until 2069. He then rejoins the police force and searches for the man, now elderly, who tried to kill him. Alex partners with a cop from the future. Starring Josh Hopkins (“Ally McBeal”) as Alex Franco, Kevin Dunn (“Gleason”), Anna Gunn (“The Practice”), Annie Parisse (“How To Lose a Guy In 10 Days”), and Danny Pino (“Men, Women & Dogs”) as the future cop partner.

The WB
“Fearless“: Rachael Leigh Cooke has joined the Bruckheimer produced WB series about a girl born without any sense of fear who joins the FBI SCD.

“Exit 9“: Family comedy. Starring Robin Rikker (“The Gregory Hines Show”) and Ian Gomez (“My Big Fat Greek Wedding”, “Felicity,” “Norm”, and “The Drew Carey Show.”)

“Ravens“: A pair of half brothers growing up in a small town. Moira Kelly (“The Cutting Edge”, “The West Wing”) will star.

“Sweet Potato Queens“: Based on the popular books, will star Delta Burke as a Southern belle working at a bar where she holds monthly meetings of the all-woman Sweet Potato Club. Burke’s character will also have a teenage daughter.

“Untitled“: Starring rapper/actor Bow Wow (“Like Mike” ). He will play a high-school teacher who’s the same age as his students.

“Young MacGyver“: Revived, and retooled, for a next-generation-style show. Like old MacGyver young MacGyver will work for the Phoenix Foundation, an agency devoted to defeating diabolical minds, one episode at a time.(Or) The nephew of the original MacGyver — played by Richard Dean Anderson on the ABC show — who’s brought into his uncle’s Phoenix Foundation, a think tank/crime-fighting organization. Starring Jared Padalecki (“Gilmore Girls.”)

“Immediate Family“: The show, based on idea of Lori Loughlins (“Full House”, “Birds of Prey”), is about a single woman who, along with several friends, becomes a surrogate mother to her sister’s three kids when their parents are killed.

“All About the Andersons“: About a struggling actor with a young son who moves back in with his parents.

“Sixteen to Life“: About a working-class teenage girl with a job at a country club who also takes care of her father.

“Untitled“: By writer Betsy Thomas ( “My So-Called Life” ) about a teenage girl who lives with three older siblings.

“The Spaces“: About the teen years of the first boy born in an outer-space colony. “Greg the Bunny’s” Dan Milano wrote the script.

“The Courtship of Eddie’s Father“: A remake of the 1970s series. By writer Jay Kogen ( “Frasier,” “Ned and Stacey” ).

“Family Friends“: A mom and her teenage son who are hurting financially move in with the mother’s best friend and her family.

“The Help“: A comedic take on “Upstairs/Downstairs” from “Married … with Children” executive producer Ron Leavitt.

“Trash“: Comedy.

“Chasing Alice” : Cop show meets “Alice in Wonderland.” The show’s main character is a London detective who travels to New York to look for her missing sister. She encounters a number of seedy types in her search, some of whom are based on characters from “Alice in Wonderland.”

“Shadow Walkers“: An action-adventure show about a married pair of archeologists who, with their kids, hunt for the truth about mythic characters.

“Dicks“: About four guys not long out of high school who go to community college, get their private investigators’ licenses and go into business together. The series is not only about cases, but it’s also about these friends figuring out who they are and growing up together. Rhea Perlman (“Cheers”) will appear playing the instructor at a Los Angeles community college teaching four aimless twentysomethings to become private investigators. The show is produced by Jersey TV, a company that just happens to have Perlman’s husband Danny DeVito as a partner.

“Tarzan” : In New York.

“Untitled” : “Gilmore Girls” spinoff centered on Jess (Milo Ventimiglia).

ABC
“Untitled“: Comedy from Jay Scherick and David Ronn (both “Spin City” alums). The untitled sitcom, formerly at NBC, will feature focus on a woman and her two brothers. Starring Samantha Mathis (“Harsh Realm,” “Broken Arrow”.)

“Three Guys“: Co-written by “Home Improvement” star Tim Allen. The show follows four men confronting the various pressures of marriage, family life and dating. Allen will provide narration but doesn’t plan to appear on camera.

“Untitled“: Jenny McCarthy will will play the spoiled daughter of a business tycoon. She’s tossed into the real world when her dad goes to jail and the family’s money disappears.

“Hope and Faith“: About a housewife whose soap-opera star sister moves in with her. In “The Odd Couple” vein.

“My Life with Men“: About a woman who takes care of her husband, father and four sons. In “The Odd Couple” vein.

“Untitled“: Follows a man whose parents are very conservative and his girlfriend, the daughter of a gay couple. In “The Birdcage” vein.

“Untitled“: About a rather shy New Yorker whose wife comes from a big, boisterous family from Kansas. In “The Odd Couple” vein.

“Platonically Incorrect“: It focuses on a man and woman who work together and are best friends outside the office.

“The DA” or “The D.A.“: Steven Weber will play the title role. The show revolves around a veteran, career-minded prosecutor who teams up with a young investigator to solve the murder of a colleague. (Or) About a careerist district attorney who forms a partnership with a young investigator when one of his colleagues is murdered. Starring Steven Weber and J.K. Simmons (“Oz” and “Spider-Man.”)

“Hench at Home“: About a newly retired pro hockey player adjusting to being home with his wife and three kids for extended periods of time. Michael J. Fox will executive produce.

“Untitled“:Centers on an everyday guy who starts dating a female celebrity. Teri Polo ( “Meet The Parents,” “Sports Night” ) and David Sutcliff will star

“Untitled“: “Speed” redux.

“The Street Lawyers“: Based on John Grisham’s book about an attorney who leaves his high-priced firm to work for the less fortunate. (Or) About a young attorney who gives up his fast-track corporate job to work at a legal aid clinic. Mario Van Peebles will star.

“Threat Matrix“: Centering on a task force that deals with homeland security. From Daniel Voll. (Or) Ex-spouses working to protect homeland security. Starring James Denton (” Philly”) and Kelly Rutherford (“Melrose Place”).

“The Flannerys” : In which a family has to start over when the father, a recovering alcoholic, loses his law-firm job and opens a storefront practice to support his family. From Kevin Falls and Peter O’Fallon

“Partners“: About a pair of female undercover cops. From Kerry Ehrin and Nina Rodriguez. Starring Liz Vassey (“The Tick,” “Push, Nevada”.)

“Karen Sisco” : Which continues the story of the character played by Jennifer Lopez in the movie “Out of Sight.” From Jason Smilovic. Starring Carla Gugino (“Spin City,” “Spy Kids”.)

“Untitled” : From Armyan Bernstein. Set in a hotel where the lives of guests intertwine with those of the staff.

“111 Gramercy Park” : Detailing the lives of residents and staff members at a posh New York apartment building. From Bob Brush.

“Alaska” : A cop show about a state trooper dealing with serious crimes and oddball characters in the title state. From John August.

“Mr. and Mr. Nash” : A gay couple who stumble into detective work through their regular gig as interior designers. From Steve Martin. (Won’t appear until mid-season of the 2003-2004 season.)

“Cutting It” : The soap opera-like “Cutting It” premiered on the BBC last spring. It revolves around Allie and Gavin, the married owners of a successful hairstyling business. They plan to expand their business, but hose plans are torpedoed when another couple opens a competing salon in the space they were thinking of buying. Further complicating matters, the husband of the new salon’s owner is an old flame of Allie’s and wants her back.

“Then Came Jones” : Set in early 1900s Texas.

CBS
“Untitled“: Featuring Danny Glover. Also starring D.B. Woodside (“Buffy the Vampire Slayer.”)

“Street Boss“:Will feature Joey Pantoliano (“Memento”, “The Sopranos”) as police officer who who trains undercover homicide, smuggling and vice operatives. (Or) Centers on an FBI agent who’s in charge of a group of undercover officers. Starring Willie Garson (“Sex and the City”).

“Harry’s Girl“: Follows a woman whose life is narrated by her dog. Jennifer Esposito (“Spin City”) had been tapped to play the lead but has left the project, reportedly over creative differences. (Creative differences in a show narrated by a dog?! Bert.) Christine Taylor (“The Wedding Singer,” “Zoolander”) has stepped in to star.

“Untitled“: Nicole Sullivan (“Mad TV”) plays a vet dealing with her new husband and his three ubiquitous brothers.

“Criminology 101“: Will star Busy Philips (“Dawson’s Creek”, “Freaks and Geeks” ) and Marisa Coughlan (“Wasteland”) as criminology students by day and crime fighters by night.

“Expert Witness“: About a forensic psychologist.

“Two and a Half Men“: The comedy focuses on a bachelor who’s forced to change his ways when his brother and young nephew move in with him. Former “Spin City” star Charlie Sheen is in negotiations to star.

“Family Show” : Revolves around parents of teenage kids who end up having a child of their own.

“The Stones” : Centers on twentysomething children who must adjust when their parents announce they’re filing for divorce. Chronicles what happens to a family of baby-boomer parents and grown children when the parents decide to get a divorce.

“All Grown Up” : Focuses on lifelong friends who must adjust when two of them become parents. About a group of long-time friends dealing with the fact that two of them are about to become parents.

“Crazy Love” : About a middle-aged couple who adopt a Chinese girl.

“Untitled” : Based on the life of Tony Kornheiser, a Washington Post sports columnist and co-host of ESPN’s “Pardon the Interruption.” The show will be about a sportswriter/TV host balancing work and family obligations — not unlike “Everybody Loves Raymond.” Kornheiser is a consultant on the project.

“Jekyll and Hyde” : From Sam Raimi (“Army of Darkness”, “Spider-Man”.)

“Battle Creek” : Focuses on a battle of wills between a police officer and an FBI agent in the title city, Battle Creek, Michigan.

“The Brotherhood of Poland, New Hampshire“: From David E. Kelley. Revolves around three brothers in their late 30s and early 40s in a fictional town in New Hampshire. One brother is the town’s mayor and another a police officer. “It’s a place where everything that happens becomes more explosive because everybody knows each other.” Starring Randy Quaid, John Carroll Lynch (“The Drew Carey Show”), Ann Cusack (“The Jeff Foxworthy Show”), Angela Goethals (“Do Over”), Megan Henning and Cleo King (“Boston Public.”)

“Chi-Town” : About two sisters who are Chicago politicians. Mel Gibson and his Icon partner Bruce Davey are executive producing the project.

“The Lunchbox Chronicles” : A show that was in development for this (2002-2003) season but was set aside when the producers couldn’t cast the lead role. The comedy revolves around a recently widowed mother making the adjustment to her new reality. (Or) a recent widow trying to get her life back together and raise her two kids. Monica Potter (“Along Came a Spider” ) stars. Andy Richter (“Andy Richter Controls the Universe”) will play her friend. However, his part will be recast if “Andy Richter Controls the Universe” is picked up for a third season at Fox.

“Cold Cases” : Produced by Jerry Bruckheimer and written by Meredith Stiehm (“Beverly Hills, 90210,” “ER”), is about a female detective who works long-dormant cases.

‘”Century City” : A legal drama set 50 years in the future that will speculate on how the legal system will change by then.

NBC
 “Alligator Point“: From Kelsey Grammer’s production company. Set at a restaurant in the deep South, it focuses on the lives of a fisherman, his ex-wife and an eccentric cast of characters. (Or) A Florida fisherman and his oddball neighbors. Starring Nathan Fillion (“Firefly”.)

“The Legends of Butch & Sundance“: Willo chronicle the lives of the Western outlaws from the time they first met. Being shot as a “movie of the week” with the possibility of it being spun off to a series.

“Touch ‘Em All McCall“: An ex-baseball player returns home after his celebrity has dried up and starts coaching a homegrown farm team. Tom Selleck (“Magnum P.I.”) will star.

“Untitled“: Nikki Cox (“Nikki”) as an Las Vegas escort who operates out of a casino and helps the building’s surveillance team. She has to work with a team member (played by Josh Duhamel) who had a crush on her in high school.

“Untitled“: About a divorced couple whose children are intent on keeping them that way. Starring Heather Locklear (“Melrose Place”, “Scrubs”.)

“Miss Match“: Stars Alicia Silverstone. About a divorce lawyer who moonlights as a matchmaker.

“Happy Family“: Comedy about a couple whose grown children keep returning to the fold. John Larroquette stars.

“The Ripples“: About a couple who’s been married for 4,000 years — and their 3,985-year-old son, who looks like he’s 15. “The Ripples” frequently flashes back to see the family in different historical settings. Network executives said the show is reminiscent of “3rd Rock From the Sun.”

“The Ortegas“: Americanized version of British hit.

“Untitled“: Political comedy that centers around a Clinton-esque governor from Pennsylvania.

“Untitled“: A comedy that focuses on three adult siblings who have all reached a turning point in their lives.

“Untitled“: About a middle-class family learning how to survive with two working parents. (Or) A family trying to keep itself in the middle class.

“Untitled“: Sitcom starring “SNL” player Tracy Morgan as a blue-collar business owner and father of two. (Or) A blue-collar dad with big dreams.

“Untitled“: From writer-executive producer Peter Tolan (“The Job,” “The Larry Sanders Show”) about a security guard for a gated community.

“Untitled“: Based on Howie Mandel’s life as a father to three kids and work on “The Tonight Show,” on which he does hidden-camera bits. The show will blend some unscripted, hidden-camera elements with scripted scenes involving the family.

“EDNY“: William Baldwin will play a very bright and slightly loopy attorney who leads a group of prosecutors in New York.

“Lyon’s Den or The Lyon’s Den “: Described as an ensemble legal drama set in a mid-sized, century-old law firm. Rob Lowe would play an idealistic attorney trying to make his mark on the world while struggling to escape the shadow of his powerful father, a state senator. Kyle Chandler will play an attorney who resents the presence of this new lawyer.

“Homeland Security“ : A fictionalized look at the fight against domestic terrorism, follows the federal government’s efforts to fight domestic terrorism. (Or) Scott Glenn will play a CIA agent on the verge of retirement. After the Sept. 11 attacks, he puts off leaving his job to work at the new Office of Homeland Security.

“Mr. Ambassador” : Everett (“My Best Friend’s Wedding” ) plays a proper Englishman who’s appointed ambassador to the United States and is befuddled by the less formal way of life here.

“CHiPs” : Update to the classic 1970’s California Highway Patrol series. From Doug Liman (“Go”, The Bourne Identity.”)

UPN
“The Mullet Brothers“: “It’s not a hairstyle, it’s a lifestyle.” From “Simpsons” writers Bill Oakley and Josh Weinstein. The show revolves around siblings who own a roofing company and love their beer and their wrasslin’.

“Untitled“: The home life of Wil Smith and his wife, Jada Pinkett Smith, serves as the basis for their presentation to UPN. The project looks at the life of a blended family.

“Game Over“: A family-oriented computer-animated comedy. The videogame-inspired project revolves around the suburban Breakneck family and the unconventional ways they solve problems.

“Old School“: Follows a group of twentysomethings who work in a nostalgia shop and reminisce about the horrors of high school.

“Untitled“: Focuses on young parents in their mid-20s adjusting to adulthood.

“The Edge“: From “Fastlane” writer-producer Matthew Carnahan, follows two green FBI agents and a DEA officer who work in a town on the U.S.-Mexico border.

“Vegas Dick“: About a reformed con man who gets a job as an in-house detective at a Las Vegas casino. Rich Wilkes ( “XXX” ) is writing the script.

“Your Honor“: About a law-school graduate who winds up winning the election for judge in a small town.

“Kamelot“: From executive producer Wes Craven that transports the King Arthur legend to the future. It places the young king in the future, where he rules a Camelot-like society.

“Hotel“: An updated version of the old ABC series.

“Weapon X” : Apparently nothing to do with the X-Men’s Wolverines origin story. A story about a government techie who gains extraordinary power after having computer chips implanted in his body. (Or) a geeky National Security Agency technician who becomes a living weapon after accidentally being injected with experimental nanotechnology. Starring Christopher Gorham (“Popular”).

“Newton” : It focuses on a family that moves to a new town, which also serves as a testing site for an array of high-tech gadgetry.

“3 Card Monte” : No info available.

HBO
“Black Market Music“: Jack Black is currently developing a half-hour comedy with Undeclared writer-actors Seth Rogen and Jason Segel for HBO. Will center on a pair of twentysomethings (played by Rogen and Segel) with different goals who end up running a Hollywood record shop together. Rogen and Segel will also write and produce the pilot, with Black, who brought his original concept for the show to the pair, set to executive produce. Black described his new project as “High Fidelity with a pinch of Taxi,” and plans to invite real artists and bands to appear in storylines as well as perform on the show. Look for Black to guest on his own show.

“Lloyd, What Happened?“: Written by E. Max Frye (“Something Wild” ) and executive produced by Tom Hanks.

“Good in Bed“: From writer Jenny Bicks.

“Untitled“: From Darren Star (“Sex and the City.”) Set in L.A.’s wealthy Pacific Palisades area. Looking to replace “Sex and the City.”

“Untitled“: Comedy about a group of friends living in Los Angeles. Looking to replace “Sex and the City.”

“Untitled“: Steven Soderbergh will produce and perhaps direct. Will revolve around political consultants. To keep the show current with real-life events, the producers hope to shoot each episode only a week before it airs. That would be a significant departure from the model for HBO’s other original series, which often shoot entire seasons before any episode makes its debut. Each episode would also leave room for improvisation by the cast to incorporate current events.

“Untitled“: Starring Sarah Silverman. Loosely based on some of the characters she takes on in her stand-up act, according to The Hollywood Reporter. Details of the show are still being worked out, but it will likely focus on a vain young woman with a self-deprecating sense of humor who tries to do right by the people around her.

“Carnivale“: Set during the Great Depression of the 1930s, “Carnivale” focuses on two characters who represent good and evil: a mysterious 18-year-old (Nick Stahl) taken in by an Oklahoma Dust Bowl carnival, and a charismatic radio evangelist in California called Brother Justin (Clancy Brown).

“Sinchronicity“: Described as a male version of the hit show “Sex and the City.” Originally devised for British television. “It’s about a group of male friends. Among other things, they will spend time in the series discussing their sex lives, although “there are far more elements to it than that.”

“Deadwood“: A western that will blend fictional and real-life characters from the post-Civil War era. The series begins in Deadwood, S.D., in 1876, two weeks after Custer’s defeat at Little Big Horn. Timothy Olyphant (“Rock Star,” the upcoming “Dreamcatcher” ) stars as Seth Bullock, a former marshal who’s trying to set up a mercantile business in the town. The cast also includes Molly Parker (“The Center of the World” ), Ian McShane (“Sexy Beast” ) and Keith Carradine, who plays Wild Bill Hickok.

USA
“Peacemakers“: About U.S. marshals in the 1880s.

“Baretta” : The 1970s cop show is getting an update. It will keep some of the familiar trappings from the old show — an urban setting, detective Tony Baretta’s pet bird Fred, sidekick Rooster — while giving the character a new feel.

SCI-FI
“Battlestar Galactica“: Remake of the classic 1970s sci fi series. Starring Edward James Olmos as Commander Adama and Mary McDonnell as the president of the futuristic society.

“Brother Voodoo” : Will focus on psychologist Jericho Drumm, who returns to New Orleans after the death of his brother and learns that he is destined to become a voodoo priest. In addition to discovering his talents in the black arts and the responsibilities they carry, Drumm must reconcile the magic and science in his life.

“1,000 Days” : Based on the comic book “Strikeforce: Morituri.” Set in the not-so-distant future where a group of soldiers are given enhanced abilities in order to fight the contemporary evils of the world. The gift has a price though: each new recruit will die 1,000 days after they join the special force.

LIFETIME
“Wild Card“: Centers on a former Las Vegas blackjack dealer who stumbles into a career as an insurance fraud investigator. The show’s central character winds up caring for her sister’s kids after a car crash claims her sibling’s life. She begins her new career while investigating her sister’s accident. Starring Joely Fisher (“Ellen.”)

“1-800-Missing“: Will feature Gloria Reuben (“E.R.”) as an FBI agent paired with a psychic, and is being described as a femme-centric “The X-Files.”

“Suburban Sleuths“: No info. available.

“The Ex-Mrs. Bennett (or) Screwball Homicide“: Centering on a female detective who partners with her ex-husband. Starring Adrian Pasdar ( “Profit” ) and Julie Warner ( “Family Law” ).

NETWORK UNKNOWN
“Spellbound“: About a male witch (Richard Ruccolo, “Two Guys and a Girl”) who falls in love with a mortal woman. Also starring Fred Willard (“Maybe It’s Me,” “Best in Show.”)

2002-2003 Television Pilots (Incomplete at best)

CategoriesTVPosted on

The WB

“Lost in Oz” (Drama): Melissa George (“Thieves”) is a 22-year-old from Kansas who is in the midst choosing between getting married and going to graduate school, when a tornado carries her off to Oz. Once there, the show’s heroine gets political and leads a revolt against Emerald City and the great Oz himself.

“Birds of Prey” (Drama): A possible companion piece for “Smallville,” “Birds” is based on the DC Comics series about female crime fighters in Batman’s hometown, Gotham City. Devoid of superpowers, Black Canary and Oracle (aka Barbara Gordan, aka Batgirl) work together to fight crime. As an added twist, Oracle is crippled due to an ill-fated encounter with the Joker resulting in a bullet to the spine.

“Prep” (Comedy): Not to be confused with FOX’s never-aired “Manchester Prep” (which was based on the hit movie “Cruel Intentions” ), this comedy focuses on the day-to-day lives of the students at a co-ed boarding school.

“Untitled Crazy Grandmother Project” (Comedy): Who’s the parent here? A free-spirited grandmother moves in with her uptight daughter and two grandkids.

The Black Sash” (Drama): A former cop turns martial arts hero.

“Brats” (Drama): A drama about a military family.

“The Lone Ranger” (Drama): Also following on the heels of “Smallville’s” success, the tale of the masked man and his faithful sidekick gets a reworking. Chad Michael Murray (“Dawson’s Creek,” “Gilmore Girls”) and Nathaniel Arcand are slated to star.

“Aces” (Drama) – Daniel Baldwin (“Homicide: Life on the Street”) stars as a professional card player whose son attends an elite private school.

“Do Over” (Comedy) – If you knew then what you know now, what would you do differently? A grown man gets a chance to return to the 1980s in order to relive his high school years.

“Brave New World” (Comedy): Two home-schooled kids enter into the daunting-at-the-best-of-times world of public education.

“Everwood” (Drama): A widowed brain surgeon (Treat Williams) moves his two sons to a picturesque Colorado town and opens a family practice.

“Horrid Little Girls” (Comedy): “Popular” mommy Delta Burke stars as the headmistress of a girls prep school.

“Houseblend” (Comedy): Two opposite sex friends, David and Sally, decide to set up house together after discovering they each need what the other has to offer.

“In My Opinion” (Comedy): A young, hip, advice columnist, who, knowing how these things go, could use some help sorting out her own life.

“This Time” (Comedy): Diversity. Diversity. Diversity. On the heels of African-American comedies “My Wife and Kids” (ABC) and “The Bernie Mac Show” (FOX), the WB gives it a go with a Latino family (much like ABC’s recently announced “The George Lopez Show” — slated to premiere this midseason).

“Untitled Amanda Bynes Project” (Comedy): The 15-year-old Nickelodeon star (whose contract expires this season), and Frankie Muniz’s “Big Fat Liar” partner-in-crime, gets her own WB show.

“Untitled Jeff Davis Project” (Comedy): Steve Martin’s “The Downer Channel” didn’t make much of a splash last summer, but one of its stars, Jeff B. Davis (no relation to Ann) gets his own improv gig.

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FOX

“Firefly” (Sci-fi): From “Buffy” creator Joss Whedon. The crew of a space-ship wanders the outer reaches of the galaxy. A “western” in space.

“Eastwick”: Follows the 15-year old versions of the babies from the black comedy classic film “The Witches of Eastwick”.

“Fast Lane”: Described as a “multiethnic Starsky and Hutch for the 21st century”.

“Save the Last Dance”: A TV series spin-off of the Julia Stiles drama.

“The Time Tunnel” (Sci fi): Based on Irwin Allen’s 1960s TV series of the same name, “Time Tunnel” follows a group that who travel back and forth in time.

Untitled Secret Service Project (Drama): Centering on the Secret Service agents.

“John Doe”: An amnesiac who mysteriously washes ashore and realizes he knows “everything knowable in the world except the truth about who he is. Mimi Leder is attached to direct the pilot.

“The Grubbs”: Based on the British TV series “The Grimleys,” “Grubbs” focuses on a blue-collar family with a long history of failure whose teenage son falls in love with his beautiful new teacher.

“Keen Eddie”: Revolves around an American police officer who goes to London to delve into a mystery that ruined his career in the States.

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CBS

“Jo” (Drama): Andie MacDowell plays a veterinarian who runs a veterinary hospital in Ascheville, N.C.

Untitled CSI spin-off. Emily Procter will play a member of the forensic team who is quick to issue her opinion, but lacks the education and experience to back it up.

“Sharon McCone” (Mystery): Based on the popular “Sharon McCone” mystery novels by Marcia Mueller.

“The Lunchbox Chronicles” (Comedy): About a widowed mother of two young children.

Untitled Comedy: Based on Nia Vardalos’ one-woman show “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”.

“Queens Supreme”: Set in New York City’s highest trial court.

“Two Families” (Comedy): Laurie Metcalf, who most recently starred in the comedy “Norm,” will play the lead character, a widow who is mourning the death of her husband. ========================================================================

ABC

Untitled Spy Kids style series from producer John Ridley.

Untitled father-son archaeological team show.

Untitled take on the “Nancy Drew” books.

“Astronauts”: About rivals competing for a spot on the Mars mission.

“That Was Then”: A sort of male version of “Peggy Sue Got Married”

“Paranormal Girl” (Sci-fi?): A teen with psychic abilities recruited by the FBI.

Untitled primetime soap about a large family.

“8 Simple Rules”: An overprotective dad and his teenage daughters, with Flody Suarez (“The Tick” ).

Untitled comedy about an interracial couple

“The Oath”: Doctors bucking the HMO system at a hospital.

“EIS”: Investigators from the Centers for Disease Control.

“Homeward Bound”: Centering on a woman who moves home to restart her life

“Dexter Prep” (Comedy)

“The Funkhausers” (Comedy)

“Push, Nevada” (Mystery): An interactive mystery being written by Affleck and producing partner Sean Bailey. Each episode will contain clues that lead viewers to a cash prize hidden somewhere in the country.

Untitled Helen Hunt Project: A family comedy. She and Don Lake will also write and executive produce the pilot.

Untitled comedy from writer Terri Minsky about an office temp who gets a sweet placement and is surrounded by competitive co-workers.

“George Lopez” (Comedy)

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NBC

“Kingpen”: Spelling-produced “Kingpin” about a drug lord and his family. A Mexico-set drama about a drug operation from David Mills.

Untitled take on the early years of King Arthur.

War Stories”: Jeff Goldblum as a war correspondent.

“St. Georges”: A big city family going to work on an African game preserve.

“Miss Miami”: Latina cop drama.

“Boomtown”: Ensemble cop drama starring Donnie Wahlberg — a bright, shyly charming and soulful detective, who seemingly has it all — a perfect job and a perfect family — but is falling apart on the inside

“Camelot” (Dramety): A former pro golfer who now runs a local course and befriends a young boy.

Untitled Dennis Farina Project: A trucking business owner whose overprotective attitude toward his only daughter causes strife within the family.

“A.U.S.A.” (Comedy): A single-camera comedy about the (mis)adventures of young prosecutors.

“Leave Me Alone” (Comedy): A buddy comedy starring “Saturday Night Live” alumni Lovitz and MacDonald and executive produced by Sandler.

“Hidden Hills” (Comedy): A family comedy from writers Peter Segal and Ric Swartzlander that looks beyond the well-manicured lawns of American suburbia.

An untitled comedy about a man who leaves a high-stress job and becomes a teacher, from former “Late Night with Conan O’Brien” writer Jonathan Groff.

An untitled comedy about Greg Giraldo as a comedian who hires a caretaker to watch his young daughter while he works the stand-up circuit.

“Mr. Sterling”: About an idealistic U.S. senator. Starring Josh Brolin.

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MTV

“Spider-Man” (Animated): Spin-off of the live-action “Spider-Man” movie opening this Summer

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UPN

“The Twilight Zone” (Anthology, Horror): Third incarnation of this classic series. Pen Densham (“Moll Flanders” ) will write and executive produce the new project. Densham has worked on updates of several classic movies and series, including the current version of “The Outer Limits” and TV remakes of “The Magnificent Seven”

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NETWORK UNKNOWN

DreamWorks TV and Touchstone Television Untitled Washington-based pilot: Tom Berenger will play a powerful, arch-conservative Senate majority leader in the Washington-based pilot, while Kyle Chandler will play the legislative director for Rep. Benny Fletcher (David Paymer), who develops a romantic interest in Fletcher’s assistant, the show’s leading character, Paige Armstrong (Leslie Bibb).