Black Mirror: Bandersnatch 👎

I can’t quite articulate how much I love Black Mirror. I remember reading about the show years ago when it was only available in the UK and having to seek it out via less than legal means. Then,in 2014 being extremely happy when DirecTV aired the Christmas episode and being overjoyed when Netflix picked up the series and began producing new episodes later on. So when news leaked of a new Black Mirror movie a few weeks back I was excited since any new Black Mirror is better than no Black Mirror.

At least that’s what I thought that the time.

Friday morning I’ve got the day off and go to play this movie entitled Black Mirror: Bandersnatch on my AppleTV. Unexpectedly I get a message that the movie is not compatible with my device. Which is weird because a) I’ve never gotten that before with anything else on Netflix, b) my AppleTV is relatively new and up to date and c) it’s a movie, so why would it have to be compatible with anything? Then I tried it on my smart TV which has a Netflix app and… no dice there either. I get the same “sorry” message even though the message says that “newer” smart TVs are compatible.

That’s strike one and two.

Frustrated, I go to my computer to play Bandersnatch. That works and when the film starts it turns out that this movie is really a Choose Your Own Adventure style experience where you as the viewer have choices in how the story is going to play out. You choose what kind of cereal the main character is going to eat and what kind of music he’s going to listen to on the bus, etc. etc. etc.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Steeeeeee-rike three!

Here’s the thing, when I want to watch a movie, that’s what I want to do, watch a movie. Movies aren’t video games, I don’t want to participate in them. I want to see where the storyteller is going to take me, not choose the kind of cereal the characters are going to eat.

And because there are choices like this throughout Bandersnatch it means that one character will ask another a question, but because the interactive element gives the viewers ten seconds to make a choice means there’s lots of times the characters are just staring at each other waiting for you to make a choice in this weird, uncomfortable silence.

The sad thing was that when I finally got the movie to work on my computer I just let it play and didn’t actually make a decision as to what the character was going to do next and guess what, the story progressed just fine as the first option was automatically chosen. So apparently there’s a version of Black Mirror: Bandersnatch out there that would play just fine on my AppleTV and smart TV.

As I felt more and more frustrated over Bandersnatch I kept thinking back about the very first episode of Black Mirror I ever saw — I saw them a bit out of order so the first one for me was “Fifteen Million Merits.” I came away from that one feeling like I’d seen the very first thing to be as good as the original The Twilight Zone without being a copy of The Twilight Zone. With Bandersnatch I came away feeling frustrated and with the sense that this might just be the “Jump the Shark” moment for Black Mirror.

Ultimately I made it through a few of the on-screen choices in Bandersnatch before giving up and moving onto something less “interactive.”

Dear Netflix, please never, ever do this again. I have no desire to take part in any movies or TV series like this ever.

Sincerely, Bert

Netflix Black Mirror message
Netflix Black Mirror message

What I’m looking forward to in 2019

There’s a lot of cool things coming in 2019 and this list is by no means a definite one since I’m sure I’m missing things, but it’ll have to do for now.

TV

  • Project Blue Book — This new series on History about government sponsored UFO hunters in the 1960s looks to be an unofficial prequel to The X-Files. January 8
  • True Detective — After a delay of more than three years comes the third season of this HBO series. January 13
  • The Passage — This series on FOX is about a vampire apocalypse in the making. January 14
  • Roswell, New Mexico — A reboot of the popular early 2000s The WB series Roswell. January 15
  • Star Trek: Discovery — The second season of this CBS All Access series brings the Enterprise into the fold. January 17.
  • I Am the Night — TNT dramas can be hit or miss, hopefully this one is more Mob City than The Alienist. January 28
  • Doom Patrol — This series based on the comic book of the same name is set to premiere on the DC Universe streaming service. February 15.
  • Mindhunter — The second season of this series about FBI serial killer hunters is set to premiere in 2019 on Netflix.
  • Stranger Things — The kids of Hopkins, Indiana return to the “upside down” on Netflix next year.
  • Game of Thrones — The final season of the hit HBO series is set to premiere next spring.
  • Deadwood — This movie that was originally announced more than a decade ago is finally set to debut on HBO sometime next year.
  • Veep — The final season of this series is set to premiere in 2019 on HBO.
  • The Punisher — Reportedly debuting at the end of January is the second season of this Netflix show.
  • The Expanse — The fourth season of this series will debut on Amazon Prime in 2019.
  • Star Wars: The Mandalorian — This first live-action series based in the Star Wars universe, not counting the Star Wars Holiday Special, will launch the Disney+ streaming service at the end of 2019.
  • The Twilight Zone — Jordan Peele (Get Out) is set to reboot The Twilight Zone on CBS All Access in 2019.
  • Watchmen — A TV version of the Alan Moore/Dave Gibbons seminal comics work Watchmen debuts on HBO next year.
Alita: Battle Angel

Movies

  • Glass — This is the third movie in the M. Night Shyamalan Unbreakable franchise. January 18
  • Alita: Battle Angel — Based on the manga Battle Angel Alita this one is directed by Robert Rodriquez and produced by James Cameron, who was originally slated to direct years ago. February 14
  • Captain Marvel — The first Marvel Studios movie of the year is set to launch a new character into the universe. March 8
  • Pet Sematary — Kind’a a remake of the 1989 movie but really based on the Stephen King novel of the same name, this movie has one disturbing ending. April 5
  • Shazam! — This one looks to be a lighter look into the so-far dreary DC Universe of comic book movies. April 5.
  • Avengers: Endgame — While it’s called “Endgame” I can’t imagine any scenario where there aren’t more Avengers flicks since every time they come out Disney adds a billion + bucks to their bottom line. April 26
  • Brightburn — What looks like a horror version of the Superman origin mythos, this movie marks James Gunn first movie back after being fired from the Guardians of the Galaxy movies. May 24
  • Godzilla: King of the Monsters — The second of the new Godzilla movies, this flick is set to introduce a slew of new creatures to this universe. May 31
  • X-Men: Dark Phoenix — So far delayed three times from its original release date, this EIGHTH X-Men movie is out this summer. June 7
  • Spider-Man: Far From Home — Spider-Man returns from the dead for the second film in his modern franchise. July 5
  • Once Upon a Time in Hollywood — Four years after his previous movie Quentin Tarantino next one takes place in late 1960s Hollywood. July 26
  • *The New Mutants — Another delayed movie, I sense a theme, this one looks to cross horror with Marvel superheroes. August 2
  • IT: Chapter Two — The second and final movie of IT is set to move the monster fighting action from the early 1990s to the present day. September 6
  • Gemini Man — Originally announced more than 20 years ago and set to star Mel Gibson, Gemini Man is finally set to hit theaters with Will Smith in the title role. October 4
  • Joker — A stand-alone Joker movie starring Joaquin Phoenix hits theaters in time for Halloween. October 4
  • Midway — This one is set to bring modern CGI special effects to the WWII naval battle. November 8
  • Terminator — Yet another reboot in the Terminator franchise, this movie is set to bring the original Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton) back into the fold after nearly 30 years. November 15
  • Star Wars: Episode IX — The final movie in the modern Star Wars trilogy hits theaters in time for Christmas. December 20