2006-2007 Television Pilots (Incomplete at Best) Has Good Television Returned from the Dead, or is it Just a Zombie Here to Eat Our Brains?

Compiled from Zap2It.com, The Futon Critic, The Hollywood Reporter & Yahoo
If you have any additions/corrections to this list, please send Bert an e-mail.

TV Doesn’t Get Much Worse Than This in the 2005-2006 pilot season
See the birth of bad television in the 2004-2005 pilot season
Relive the horror that was the 2003-2004 television pilot season
Witness the 2002-2003 television pilots

Network – FOX
AMERICAN CRIME: About a team of media-savvy defense attorneys who handle high-profile cases.

SOUTHERN COMFORT: An ensemble crime drama about the wife of a mob boss who’s thrust into running their Biloxi, Mississippi-based organized crime operation.

More, Patience: Comedy about a psychiatrist whose own life needs help.

IF YOU LIVED HERE, YOU’D BE HOME BY NOW: Comedy about a group of young friends living in a corporate housing-style apartment complex.

VANISHED: Chronicles the disappearance of a senator’s wife over the course of the season.

UNTITLED: Comedy about the unlikely friendship between two recently divorced high-society women in New York.

DAMAGES: Drama about “the pathology and personal hazards” lawyers face in juggling their career and personal lives.

Faceless: Centers on a federal prosecutor who goes undercover as a criminal in order to take down a sprawling underworld organization.

BUST: Comedy about a single mom in Reno, Nevada, who decides to apply her anger issues to the profitable field of bounty hunting.

WACKO: Comedy about a man keeping the peace between his mother and sister after his father leaves the entire family fortune in the hands of their certifiably insane mom.

THE WORST WEEK OF MY LIFE: Comedy based on the BBC series of the same name, about a young engaged couple’s hellacious week leading up to their wedding.

UNTITLED: Drama set in a high-end Beverly Hills animal hospital.

REVISION: A time-travel themed drama about a man who finds himself returning to the past in order to prevent disaster in the future.

UNTITLED: Comedy about an unmarried 30ish man whose friends all seem to have married.

CRISIS: Drama about a terrorist takeover of a luxury resort in Miami’s South Beach district.

BECOMING GLEN: Comedy about a successful fortysomething man who looks back at 1994, when he was a 32-year-old slacker living with his parents and spending all his time lying on the couch watching TV. (OR) About a guy in his 40s who reminisces about his life a decade earlier, when he finally started to make something of his life.

UNTITLED: A psychological family drama with a major twist.

THE ADVENTURES OF BIG HANDSOME GUY AND HIS LITTLE FRIEND: Comedy based on the short film of the same name from Jason Weiner and Hayes MacArthur, about their real-life friendship, and how everything comes easy for Hayes (“the big handsome guy”), but not Weiner (“his little friend”).

UNTITLED: Comedy which features Harvey Fierstein (in drag) as a blue-collar mom raising two kids.

UNTITLED: Comedy about the current state of male-female relationships.

HAPPY HOUR: Comedy about a pair of roommates “one who’s been damaged by love, and another who’s been blinded by love.”

BIG LOUD LISA: Comedy about Lisa Lampanelli’s life as a self-described woman with “a big heart but can’t edit her mouth.”

The Operative: Tracks a criminal mastermind who, unbeknownst to him, has a mole in the ranks. The series will then feature clues about who is actually an undercover F.B.I. agent with his/her identity being revealed in the season finale.

UNTITLED: Comedy which is described as an “All in the Family”-esque series about a young woman and her new husband who end up living next door to her father and mother.

UNTITLED: Comedy which would track Christopher Kennedy Lawford (“General Hospital”), the son of actor Peter Lawford (of Rat Pack fame) and Patricia Kennedy (sister of President John F. Kennedy), (playing himself) as he enters the family business of politics on the ground floor, running for a small local office.

PAGES: Comedy about the world of ambitious “pages” at a large New York media company, much like those at NBC’s Rockefeller Plaza or CBS’ Television City.

NICOLAI & JULIE: A U.S. version of the Danish soap of the same name about a married couple who split up and forge new romantic ties yet still remain connected.

PILGRIMAGE: Comedy about a romantic triangle that plays out in real-time over the course of a cross-country flight.

UNHINGED: Comedy about a man who moves in with his dad and grandfather after his new wife leaves him.

S.O.B.: Drama about a corporate gangster who hires a lawyer and proceeds to corrupt him.

AMBULANCE: A black comedy about L.A. paramedics.

Welcome to Paradise: The comedy would follow a teenage boy whose family moves from New York to Indiana. From, Smallville star Michael Rosenbaum.

Untitled: A single-camera comedy about minor-league baseball.

Untitled: About a civil court case.

NBC
UNTITLED: Comedy about the head writer of a variety show who has to manage her relationships with the show’s volatile star and executive producer.

UNTITLED: Comedy that revolves around as a New York guy whose much younger brother moves in with him while attending N.Y.U.

ALPHA MOMS: Comedy about a corporate mom who tries to balance kids, a stay-at-home husband and a job.

Community Service: About a disgraced real-estate developer who returns to his hometown to pursue an old flame who gets into legal hot water and is sentenced to community service.

FIX ME: Comedy about a young pediatrician who takes care of everyone around her but needs some help of her own.

UNTITLED: Comedy about a pair of brothers who take up bounty hunting – using kung fu rather than firearms – to help take care of their mom and her restaurant.

STUDIO 7 ON THE SUNSET STRIP (AKA) STUDIO 60 ON THE SUNSET STRIP: Aaron Sorkin-led drama project, about the lives of those that work on a long-running “Saturday Night Live”-esque sketch-comedy show based in Los Angeles.

THE RAFTONS: Comedy about a stiff, corporate executive who winds up running the business affairs for his younger brother, a rising hip-hop mogul in the vein of Jay-Z and Diddy.

Seeing Red: Centers on an eccentric, brilliant cop who talks to dead victims that help him solve his cases. (Monk meets House meets Medium? BE)

FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS: Small-screen adaptation of the 2004 Universal/Imagine feature, about the tumultuous 1988 season of the famed Odessa, Texas high school football team.

UNTITLED: Drama about a world overrun by vampires. Revolves around a rookie cop who joins a special unit of the L.A.P.D. that tracks the vampire population. (Sounds a bit like the UK series Ultraviolet. – BE)

Pen and the Sword: Revolves around a young man at a temp agency who comes to realize the building he works in is a portal to a sort of medieval alternate reality.

UNTITLED: Comedy about a hot up-and-coming prosecutor who’s sent to a small courthouse in the Los Angeles area by the district attorney, who perceives her as a threat. There, she clashes with a public defender who has seen better days.

THE BOGEYMAN: Drama about an expert in “deprogramming” people.

HEROES: Drama about a group of seemingly everyday people who discover that they have superpowers.

Meet the Rokers: Comedy based on Today personality Al Roker’s life.

UNTITLED: Comedy about a young man who returns to his hometown after college despite expectations that he was destined for bigger things.

Brave New World: A the ethics of modern-day science (such as stem cell research and avian flu containment) and its various dangers and abuses.

FOR PETE’S SAKE: Comedy about a group of five people who continually die and fail to get into heaven, thus sending them back to Earth for another go around.

Bond Street: Revolves around an ultra-hip New York hotel.

Untitled: Comedy about a guy whose longtime girlfriend dumps him for his business partner.

50/50: Comedy about how four modern men deal with divorce, fatherhood and dating.

LIPSTICK JUNGLE: Comedy that tells the story of three women who are listed among The New York Post’s “New York’s 50 Most Powerful Women” and will do anything to get ahead and stay on top. From “Sex and the City” writer Candace Bushnell.

UNTITLED: Revolves around a recently married couple whose lives are complicated by the fact that the husband is a well-known sex therapist.

Kidnapped: A plot-driven serial in the vein of 24 or Prison Break, will follow the investigation of a wealthy New York family’s teenage son over the course of a season.

Heist: About a group of professional thieves who want to take down three Beverly Hills jewelers simultaneously. The show would follow the planning and execution of the robbery over the course of a full season.

Untitled: About an average guy comes to realize his life is the subject of a pitched fight between light and dark supernatural forces. From Victor Fresco, who created Andy Richter Controls the Universe.

ABC
UGLY BETTY: Drama about an unattractive but efficient secretary at a fashion magazine.

UNTITLED: Comedy about two sisters with very different childhoods – one was born while their parents were poor, the other after they struck it rich – who come to live together.

MR. & MRS. SMITH: Based on the movie of the same name in which a suburban married couple who each find out that the other is an assassin when they’re hired to kill each other.

In Case of Emergency: Centers on four former high school friends, now in their 30s. A calamity brings them back together, and they discover that their lives haven’t quite worked out as they envisioned.

Twenty Questions: About a young State Department employee who uncovers a conspiracy to subvert the government.

A House Divided: A spat between a small town in the Midwest and the feds threatens to escalate into civil war.

Sheriff Luke: About a small-town sheriff and Gulf War veteran whose department has to deal with some big-city ills and who’s raising his kids alone following his wife’s death.

Brothers & Sisters: Revolves around a group of adult siblings.

60 MINUTE MAN: About a suburban family man who, after discovering that he can’t recall his actions during one hour of each day, risks his life to determine whether he’s the key player in a conspiracy that could alter the course of U.S. history.

UNTITLED: Comedy bout an interracial family of three adult sisters and their relatives.

UNTITLED: About two male best friends, one of whom is getting married and the other getting divorced.

THE TRAVELER: Drama about two friends who are framed as terrorists by someone they both thought was their friend.

UNTITLED: A “Desperate Housewives”-esque drama about a group of women who work together at the same law firm.

Six Degrees: From JJ Abrams (LOST), an ensemble soap about the intertwined stories of a group of strangers in New York from different walks of life.

UNTITLED: Comedy about a single young woman in the city.

BETTY LA FEA: Drama – a U.S. version of the Colombian telenovela of the same name about an unattractive girl who’s hired by a Vogue-esque fashion magazine to stop her new boss’s habit of sleeping with attractive assistants.

The Model: Comedy described as “That Girl” set in the New York modeling universe.

86 Ocean Ave.: Comedy about a group of divorced friends who live in the same apartment building.

Paradise: Drama about the Miami police department’s internal affairs division.

UNTITLED: Follows a guy in his 30s who realizes he’s become a jerk. He quits his job in real estate and sets about trying to change his life for the better.

NINE LIVES: Follows the lives of nine strangers who share a bond after experiencing a 52-hour hostage crisis that stems from a bank robbery that goes bad.

HOLLIS & RAE : Drama about female best friends, a detective and a prosecuting attorney, who tackle criminal cases in a small southern town.

UNTITLED: Comedy about a group of blue-collar guys in New York City who decide to rob a celebrity. Starring Donal Logue.

MO’S HOUSE: Comedy based on Mo’Nique’s (The Parkers) own life experiences with the comic playing a working class married mother who works at a neighborhood grocery store in a town outside of Baltimore.

MEN IN TREES: Drama about a thirtysomething relationship expert who gets stuck in an Alaskan town full of men soon after she discovers her own fiance has been cheating.

UNTITLED: About a private detective who has to re-order his life when his ex-wife and son move back to his hometown.

20 Questions: A conspiracy-themed series set in Washington, D.C. (OR) About the lives of nine strangers who share a bond after experiencing a 52-hour hostage crisis.

TRIUMPH: Drama about an 18-year-old boy who ends up as mayor of a midsize town.

Napoleon Hendrix: Dama starring Michael Clarke Duncan which is based on the life of San Francisco homicide detective Napoleon Hendrix.

NINE LIVES: Post-Sept. 11-themed drama.

Day Break: Action thriller.

Caroline’s: single-camera project based on the life of Caroline Hirsch, the founder of the Caroline’s Comedy Club in New York City.

UNTITLED: Comedy which is expected to be loosely based on American Idol Constantine Maroulis’ real life and his extended family in New York.

ENDLESS SUMMER: Semi-improv comedy about a father and son who spend the summer at the beach chasing women.

UNTITLED: Comedy that would follow the lives of four women in a small Southern town. Starring Sela Ward.

Him and Us: Based loosely on the life of Elton John and those of some of his peers, will follow the life of a graying rock star, his manager and other assorted hangers-on. (OR) About an over-the-hill gay British rock star and his relationship with his long-time manager and the rest of his colorful entourage.

Kill/Switch: Will center on a woman who is executed for killing her daughter’s murderer. Following her death, she enters a state of limbo, repeatedly finding herself in the body of someone who’s about to be killed.

CBS
CREATURE COMFORTS: U.S. version of the British series of the same name.

untitled: Centers on five friends — a married couple, an engaged couple and a single guy.

UNTITLED: Follows a young couple’s adjustment to life with the wife’s large family.

Welcome to the Jungle Gym: About a woman who cuts back at her job to spend more time with her kids, and the conflicts her decision creates.

Ultra: About a young woman whose search for the right guy is complicated by the fact that she’s a superhero.

The Way: About a crime family that turns to witchcraft to keep its hold on power following the death of its matriarch.

THE ANGRIEST MAN IN SUBURBIA: Comedy about a married stay-at-home father dealing with the pesky problems of everyday life.

COMPANY TOWN: Drama about the lives of government agents who happen to live in the same neighborhood.

IN THE SHADOW OF THE LAW: Drama about a group of smart legal associates trying to make partner while dealing with a host of moral, ethical and legal challenges not to mention a Gordon Gekko-esque managing partner.

Jericho: Chronicles the social, psychological and physical chaos that ensues in a small town when it becomes isolated from the rest of the world after a nuclear disaster.

UNTITLED: Comedy about an ambitious young man who takes over the family car dealership in Queens, New York.

RED DOOR: About a suburban Chinese-American family with three daughters.

Cutter: About the professional and personal lives of the crew of a Coast Guard cutter.

Orpheus: Centers on the activities of a cult. (OR) Centers on a young man whose girlfriend is involved in a sophisticated, modern-day cult.

New Mexico: About a town in New Mexico where technology meets spirituality.

THE CLASS: About a group of eight twentysomething friends – all of whom are from the same third grade class – who reunite when one throws a party.

SEX, POWER, LOVE & POLITICS: Comedy about four underachieving staffers in their mid-30s who work on Capitol Hill.

UNTITLED: About a sex therapist.

AL IN THE FAMILY: Family comedy with Al Sharpton playing off his larger-than-life personality.

KEEPING UP WITH THE JONES’S: Drama that tracks a covert operative who’s trying to save her failing marriage to her spy partner.

THE WB
AQUAMAN: Drama about the DC Comics character of the same name.

THE GIFT: Drama about a college freshman who discovers she has special psychic powers.

MIDNIGHTERS: Deals with the strange happenings in the town of Bixby, Oklahoma. Every night in said town time freezes for one hour, leaving the townsfolk prey to various dark creatures, except for four teen outcasts who call themselves the “Midnighters.”

PRETTY LITTLE LIARS: Revolves around four 16-year-old girls – whose fifth best friend went missing two years ago – that suddenly become haunted by messages that appear from her.

UNTITLED: Comedy about a die-hard New Yorker who moves to Los Angeles to take a job as an entertainment editor.

CITY OF GOLD: Adventure series about an archeological expedition in the Amazon, with the central conflict being between a father and son.

MOMMIES WHO DRINK: Comedy about a group of women who are trying to hold on to their old lives while raising their kids.

UNTITLED: Nick Lachey will play a big-league ballplayer trying to get a handle on married life.

WEEKEND: Comedy about a group of friends trapped in minimum-wage jobs whose most important life events happen on Saturdays and Sundays.

Untitled: Focuses on two young detectives who work in the LAPD’s Hollywood Division.

UPN
UNTITLED: Spin-off of the veteran comedy Girlfriends as an upcoming episode of the series will be used as a backdoor pilot. Said installment will introduce a group of women in various stages of relationships with pro football players.

UNTITLED: Comedian Paul Rodriguez and his skateboarding champ son, Paul Rodriguez, Jr., are developing a new comedy at the netlet about the relationship between a father and son, who reunite after a lengthy estrangement.

ON THE EDGE: Drama about a young female assistant district attorney trying to discover who murdered her parents while struggling with her alter ego bent on returning her to a life of drugs and alcohol.

SPLIT DECISION: Drama series about a girl who gets a chance to reinvent herself upon moving to a new high school, with dual plotlines following her decision to sit with either the popular kids or the arty outsiders on the first day of school.

ARMED & DANGEROUS: About rookies in the Chicago police academy.

USA
ORGANIZED MEDICINE: Drama based on true events surrounding organized crime infiltrating the medical profession.

IN PLAIN SIGHT: Drama about a no-nonsense female federal marshal who works in the witness protection branch of the government even though her friends and family are led to believe she is a glorified meter maid.

Underfunded: Centers on Darryl Freehorn, star agent for the little-known Canadian Secret Service whose brilliance in the field compensates for the woefully underfunded agency’s lack of resources.

BURN NOTICE: Drama about a blacklisted special ops agent who ends up taking a low-level gig as a private eye.

TNT
TALK TO ME: Drama about the efforts of hostage negotiation and S.W.A.T. teams during emergency situations.

Spike TV
The Big Empty: A gritty drama that portrays the reality of ordinary P.I.s caught in the middle of an unsavory world.

BLADE: Based off of the trio of the Blade the vampire hunter movies. Two-hour drama pilot which will become a series if successful.

HBO
The 17th C.S.H.: A satirical look at medics in wartime.

UNTITLED: Comedy on The life of Ruth Reichl, editor-in-chief of Gourmet magazine and the former food critic of the New York Times and Los Angeles Times which will cover Reichel’s evolution from chef to food writer in addition to the dissolution of her first marriage, a sexual awakening at the start of a second and motherhood at the age of 40.

UNTITLED: Comedy set in the world of basketball.

LUCKY LOUIE: Multi-camera comedy which is described as a mature family comedy that centers on a middle-class couple raising their daughter.

FX
LOW LIFE: Drama about a family of grifters who take the identity of an upper-middle-class suburban family in Louisiana starring Eddie Izzard.

DIRT: Drama about a tabloid editor and her right-hand photographer as they navigate the murky world of celebrity journalism.

Sci Fi
Butterfly Effect: Television version of the movie of the same name. Revolves around a man who discovers he has the ability to go back and forth in time to change the future of himself and others — for better or worse.

WAREHOUSE 13: About a pair of government officials banished to a storage facility in North Dakota where they spend their days cataloguing artifacts and other odds and ends collected by the government over the years, unknowingly pulling them into fantastic and supernatural quests each week.

THE DRESDEN FILES: About occult investigator Harry Dresden and a hard-nosed Chicago police detective who handles violent crimes and works side by side with him.

AMC
UNTITLED AKA French Connection: Former New York police detective-turned-producer Sonny Grosso, the focus of William Friedkin’s Oscar-winning 1971 feature “The French Connection,” has inked a development deal with the cable channel to develop a limited series about the infamous 1961 drug bust.

Dangerous Universe has been Bert’s web playground since 1998 when personal web sites were a rarity rather than the norm.