Ain't it Cool News Reviews

Harry, over at Ain't it Cool News, posted several reviews from film students who managed to catch a showing of the upcoming movie M2M. Unfortunately, they HATED the movie! I'm still hoping M2M won't suck! Be warned, the reviews give away many plot points to the movie. 3-4-00

Review #1

Dale Cooper here with a Mission to Mars review.

I am a student at NYU, and every Thursday and Friday we have a Director's Series screening in which a director will come, screen his/her film, and talk with us aspiring filmmakers afterward. To give you a hint as to how bad this film was: De Palma sent a note to the guy who runs the Director's Series that said: "Hope everyone has a good time." He wasn't going to show up and answer questions about this pile of shit.

The film starts off fairly decent with one of De Palma's trademark long, one-take tracking shots. We meet the characters, and things are okay for five minutes. Then the script starts, and it is a truly awful experience. Within five minutes we have contrived, expositional dialogue like "Damn it, this was your mission. You and Maggie worked so hard for this. If only she didn't get sick and die." Nothing in this film is subtle.

I read a few glowing reviews of this film on your site, so I was hoping. They were bullshit, and whoever wrote those reviews are literally the stupidest people on the planet (nice and subtle ;-) Bert) . Not one person liked this film after walking out.

The bison in the trailer to M2M

Literally, nothing ever happens. A rocket ship shoots off into space, we get the line "Have a good trip," and then suddenly THE END pops up on the screen. I will say I'm not a big fan of THE END at the end of films, but this one needed it because you would have had no idea. The commercials showing the astronauts surrounded by planets and the dinosaurs morphing to bison: that is the conclusion of the film, and I am sure you can gather what it signifies. The astronauts discover Mars was once like Earth, then their planet was hit by a giant meteor and they had to evacuate. They planted the seed for life on Earth, and now here we are many, many years later.

Have you ever seen a film that is so bad it's good. This doesn't even have that saving grace. It's just bad. I do not understand how Tim Robbins, Gary Sinise, Don Cheadle, and Jerry O'Connel could have read this script and signed on the dotted line. I do not understand how this script even got greenlit. Literally, the worst dialogue in a movie ever.

I beg everyone to avoid this movie like the plague. Show Hollywood they can't make shit like this and expect us to watch. Awful, awful piece of crap.

Dale Cooper, still trapped in the Black Lodge.

Hey Harry, last night Disney and Touchstone Pictures was kind enough to let the film students of NYU see a screening of Mission to Mars.

During the first 5 minutes of this movie, the audience knows you arent in for another 2001. The dialogue is almost unbearably cheesy, the acting is almost equally as bad.

But you know what? It doesnt really matter and this leads to the point of writing this review. I sat through this movie and enjoyed myself emmensly. The effects are spectacular, there are some real dramatic scenes and jaw dropping scenes (though the dialogue blows in them) and though the ending is a bit over the top, at least the film doesnt sell out on giving the audience an answer to all their questions. M2M is a bad movie that i really, really enjoyed and i think if you dont go in with many expectations, i dont see too many people not having a good time. Its a great popcorn movie for a time when most of the movies that come out suck.

The real problem i had with this screening was the audience. Filled mostly with Cinema Studies and Film production students, we all share a love of film that runs deep in our bones and makes for passionate conversation and all around good times. Last night was not the case however. I enjoyed the film yes, but most of the students in the audience jeered and booed through out the entire thing. "This Blows" "What a piece of shit" "HAHA, look how cheesy that death scene was, im GLAD he died" Constantly, throughout the entire film, these pretentious assholes jeered this film.

OK, its not a good film, its not 2001, its a fun film and its meant for a younger audience. Treat it as such. If these students didnt like the film, thats fine, voice your opinion afterwards, but dont do it during a screening that was handed to you on a silver platter. Its not like we have to pay for our screenings and its not like half the kids in that room are ever going to get a chance to make a film like M2M. There was no one in that room that would have turned down working on this picture because it was "overly cheesy and contrived." It made me so mad that students at this school think they could do better. I am in the film department and i know that any student here, if proposed with writing this script, would make the dialogue just as chessy. Its in our nature.

I love going to school here, but i find it a real problem when the kids of today do something like this, it really doesnt give me too much hope for the future. Thank god that Brian DePalma and or Jerry O'Connell didnt show up as was rumored earlier in the week cause i would have been so embarassed that i think i would have walked out during the movie. In fact a friend of mine was so upset afterwards, he wanted to start a fight to get out some of his anger. We were that upset.

I think this incident is newsworthy cause it brings up a good issue. Film students of today do not have the proper respect that they should for the men that paved the way for them. Just because we pay almost 40,000 to go to a prestigeous school like NYU, doesnt give us the right to disrespect fellow filmmakers. Every movie has its place, just make sure you know where each one is.

So I dont get killed in class, please refer to me as...

Cru Jones.