Ain't
it Cool News Reviews
Harry,
over at Ain't
it Cool News, posted several reviews from film
students who managed to catch a showing of the upcoming
movie M2M. Unfortunately, they HATED the movie!
I'm still hoping M2M won't suck! Be warned, the
reviews give away many plot points to the movie.
3-4-00
Review
#1
Dale
Cooper here with a Mission to Mars review.
I am
a student at NYU, and every Thursday and Friday
we have a Director's Series screening in which a
director will come, screen his/her film, and talk
with us aspiring filmmakers afterward. To give you
a hint as to how bad this film was: De Palma sent
a note to the guy who runs the Director's Series
that said: "Hope everyone has a good time." He wasn't
going to show up and answer questions about this
pile of shit.
The
film starts off fairly decent with one of De Palma's
trademark long, one-take tracking shots. We meet
the characters, and things are okay for five minutes.
Then the script starts, and it is a truly awful
experience. Within five minutes we have contrived,
expositional dialogue like "Damn it, this was your
mission. You and Maggie
worked so hard for this. If only she didn't get
sick and die." Nothing in this film is subtle.
I read
a few glowing reviews of this film on your site,
so I was hoping. They were bullshit, and whoever
wrote those reviews are literally the stupidest
people on the planet (nice and subtle ;-) Bert)
. Not one person liked this film after walking out.
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The bison in the trailer
to M2M
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Literally,
nothing ever happens. A rocket ship shoots off into
space, we get the line "Have a good trip," and then
suddenly THE END pops up on the screen. I will say
I'm not a big fan of THE END at the end of films,
but this one needed it because you would have had
no idea. The commercials showing the astronauts
surrounded
by planets and the dinosaurs morphing to bison:
that is the conclusion of the film, and I am sure
you can gather what it signifies. The astronauts
discover Mars was once like Earth, then their planet
was hit by a giant meteor and they had to evacuate.
They planted the seed for life on Earth, and now
here we are many, many years later.
Have
you ever seen a film that is so bad it's good. This
doesn't even have that saving grace. It's just bad.
I do not understand how Tim
Robbins, Gary Sinise,
Don Cheadle, and Jerry
O'Connel could have read this script and signed
on the dotted line. I do not understand how this
script even got greenlit. Literally, the worst dialogue
in a movie ever.
I beg
everyone to avoid this movie like the plague. Show
Hollywood they can't make shit like this and expect
us to watch. Awful, awful piece of crap.
Dale
Cooper, still trapped in the Black Lodge.
Review
#2
Hey
Harry, last night Disney and Touchstone Pictures
was kind enough to let the film students of NYU
see a screening of Mission to Mars.
During
the first 5 minutes of this movie, the audience
knows you arent in for another 2001. The dialogue
is almost unbearably cheesy, the acting is almost
equally as bad.
But
you know what? It doesnt really matter and this
leads to the point of writing this review. I sat
through this movie and enjoyed myself emmensly.
The effects are spectacular, there are some real
dramatic scenes and jaw dropping scenes (though
the dialogue blows in them) and though the ending
is a bit over the top, at least the film doesnt
sell out on giving the audience an answer to all
their questions. M2M is a bad movie that i really,
really enjoyed and i think if you dont go in with
many expectations, i dont see too many people not
having a good time. Its a great popcorn movie for
a time when most of the movies that come out suck.
The
real problem i had with this screening was the audience.
Filled mostly with Cinema Studies and Film production
students, we all share a love of film that runs
deep in our bones and makes for passionate conversation
and all around good times. Last night was not the
case however. I enjoyed the film yes, but most of
the students in the audience jeered and booed through
out the entire thing. "This Blows" "What a piece
of shit" "HAHA, look how cheesy that death scene
was, im GLAD he died" Constantly, throughout the
entire film, these pretentious assholes jeered this
film.
OK,
its not a good film, its not 2001, its a fun film
and its meant for a younger audience. Treat it as
such. If these students didnt like the film, thats
fine, voice your opinion afterwards, but dont do
it during a screening that was handed to you on
a silver platter. Its not like we have to pay for
our screenings and its not like half the kids in
that room are ever going to get a chance to make
a film like M2M. There was no one in that room that
would have turned down working on this picture because
it was "overly cheesy and contrived." It made me
so mad that students at this school think they could
do better. I am in the film department and i know
that any student here, if proposed with writing
this script, would make the dialogue just as chessy.
Its in our nature.
I
love going to school here, but i find it a real
problem when the kids of today do something like
this, it really doesnt give me too much hope for
the future. Thank god that Brian DePalma and or
Jerry O'Connell didnt show up as was rumored earlier
in the week cause i would have been so embarassed
that i think i would have walked out during the
movie. In fact a friend of mine was so upset afterwards,
he wanted to start a fight to get out some of his
anger. We were that upset.
I think
this incident is newsworthy cause it brings up a
good issue. Film students of today do not have the
proper respect that they should for the men that
paved the way for them. Just because we pay almost
40,000 to go to a prestigeous school like NYU, doesnt
give us the right to disrespect fellow filmmakers.
Every movie has its place, just make sure you know
where each one is.
So
I dont get killed in class, please refer to me as...
Cru
Jones.
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