This summer, count on the “cheese factor”

By Bert Ehrmann
2006-01-23 – When winter slowly strangles the life out of northeast Indiana, it’s the perfect time to look forward to warmer weather and cheesy movies. Next summer looks like it will be no exception when it comes to the “cheese factor.”

Summer 2006 brings us two superhero movies, proving once again that though the superhero genre might played out, it’s not dead. Out in May is X3 (X-Men 3) and over the July 4th week Superman Returns. X3 once again follows the wacky mutants lead by Professor Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart) as they deal with a world not quite ready for mutant-kind and the evil mutants lead by Magneto (Ian McKellen). Hasn’t there already been TWO X-Men movies with Magneto as the villain? There are HUNDREDS of X-Men hating mutants who have graced the pages of the X-Men comics. It’s about time that some new evildoer is promoted to “top villain” in the fight against the X-Men.

In Superman Returns the “strong guy in blue tights” returns to Earth after a long absence to do battle with Lex Luthor (Kevin Spacey) and get back together with his best girl Lois Lane (Kate Bosworth). Director Brian Singer has stated that Superman Returns follows the events of Superman (1978) and Superman II (1980). Apparently the Richard Pryor Superman movie, Superman III and follow-up Superman IV: The Quest for Peace get no respect.

Mission Impossible III hits theaters this May, a full decade after the first Mission Impossible movie. In production for years with all sorts of different plots and directors, the only thing certain about MI: III is that it stars Tom Cruise as Agent Ethan Hunt, Phillip Seymour Hoffman as the baddie and that writer/director JJ. Abrams is on “top of the world” helming this multi-million dollar flick as well as being the co-creator of the hit TV show Lost.

Also out in May is the remake of The Poseidon Adventure (1972) entitled simply Poseidon. This time, Kurt Russell, Richard Dreyfuss and Emmy Rossum must find their way out of an over-turned luxury liner in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.

Pixar’s next animated movie Cars is released in June, with the voices of Paul Newman, Owen Wilson and Bonnie Hunt.

July sees the release of Michael Mann’s (Collateral) big screen adaptation of the television show Miami Vice. “Ubér” stars Colin Farrell (S.W.A.T.) and Jamie Foxx (also Collateral) will portray the cool-cops Crockett and Tubbs respectively. Generally I am opposed to remakes since, well, they usually stink. However, I have high hopes for Miami Vice since I respect Michael Mann, who also served as director, writer and executive producer through the original TV show’s five-year run.

Keith Richards, err…, I mean Johnny Depp fans will be happy in July when Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest sets sail. This time, Captain Jack Sparrow (Depp) finds that he owes his soul to Davy Jones (Bill Nighy) and it’s up to Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth Swan (Keira Knightley) to keep Sparrow’s body and soul intact.

Writer/director M. Night Shyamalan’s follow-up to Signs (2002) and The Village (2004) is his movie Lady in the Water. Supposedly, most of the plot from Lady in the Water comes from bedtime stories Shymalan has told his children over the years. In Lady in the Water, apartment building manager Cleveland Heep (Paul Giamatti) finds that a character from a children’s story (Bryce Dallas Howard) has accidentally made her way to our world. Even though she wants to return home, there are evil forces conspiring to keep her here.