Bum Rap: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008) is the least interesting of all the Indiana Jones movies. It’s hobbled with the introduction of Mutt Williams (Shia LaBeouf) as Indy’s son and heir to the Jones adventure throne and relies too heavily on computer generated special effects for a movie series that previously had been known for featuring death-defying stunts and minimal special effects.

Shia LaBeouf, John Hurt, Karen Allen and Harrison Ford
Shia LaBeouf, John Hurt, Karen Allen and Harrison Ford

That being said, even if Crystal Skull isn’t the best Indy movie of the bunch I wouldn’t say that it’s a bad movie. Heck, it’s actually a good one.

I think what hurts Crystal Skull most of all is that it’s impossible to critique that movie without putting it up against one of the greatest films of the last 30+ years; Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981). I can’t imagine most people don’t know of or haven’t seen that film or at least aren’t aware of certain scenes there like Indy (Harrison Ford) being chased by the giant rock through the cave or Indy and Marion (Karen Allen) facing off against a pit of poisonous snakes in Egypt.

And any movie being compared to something like Raiders, currently ranked as the 31st best movie of all-time on IMDB, is going to come off looking a bit shallow.

The only problem with viewers judging Crystal Skull so harshly is that ALL of the other Indy movies have problems of their own.

Indy socks a commie!
Indy socks a commie!

In Raiders Indy rides atop a submarine from Africa to an island in the Aegean Sea many hundreds of miles away. Yet the submarine apparently never dives nor Indy never is affected by the elements outside in open seas and arrives alive and ready for action on the island. Much of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984) takes place in a cave system over an active volcano, yet Willie Scott (Kate Capshaw) is placed just a few feet over the lava she escapes unharmed/unburned. And in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989) Indy and Elsa (Alison Doody) survive a fire in a Venetian‎ sewer by diving under the water and surfacing in an air pocket. Except once the air was gone from that pocket, what would they breath since the fire would have consumed all the oxygen in the sewer?

I’m not knocking the other three Indy movies since all of them have these and many more flaws — but my point is that Crystal Skull isn’t the only Indy movie with issues.

What I think Crystal Skull gets right is that, though many don’t realize this, it actually fits well with all the Indy movie cannon as a whole.

One of the crystal skulls
One of the crystal skulls

Raiders, Temple of Doom and Last Crusade all deal with elements of religion; the Ark of the Covenant, Sankara stones and the Holy Grail. And Crystal Skull deals with crystal skulls that are holy relics to the inhabitants of the hidden city of Akator in the Amazon jungle. Where I think many felt that Crystal Skull got wrong, but I think it really got right, was that while the first three films shared a lot in common with the adventure movie serials of the 1930s and 40s, the periods those movies are set it, Crystal Skull instead was influenced by sci-fi films of the 1950s and 1960s with the introduction of Nazca Lines, aliens and UFOs to the mix. Which is the period that movie’s set in.

I also liked how the passage of time wasn’t ignored in Crystal Skull either. There’s nearly a 20 year gap between the story of Last Crusade and Crystal Skull and in the time between the films there are hints at what Indy’s been up to. Be it being a agent for the Allies during WWII to being called out with a group of other scientists to investigate the Roswell UFO crash in 1947. Indy’s lived a life between those two movies – even if we didn’t get to see exactly what happened on screen.

I’ve never understood why Crystal Skull drew such a negative reaction from the viewers. To me, if George Lucas, Steven Spielberg and Harrison Ford would have come back with Indiana Jones IV and had tried to do all the same things they’d done in the previous films again without doing something new that would have been the disappointment.

2015 Summer movie preview

With three movies due out it seems as if Marvel Entertainment has bought and now owns the naming rights to summer. The first of which is The Avengers: Age of Ultron on May 1. Really The Avengers Part 2, or is it Iron Man Part 5…, Age of Ultron has the whole team back together again battling the robotic Ulton, one of the most iconic Avengers villains. Much like with the first Avengers flick, the fate of the very Earth will hang in the balance in this film!

Except since there are two more Marvel movies out this summer and a whole slew of Marvel films scheduled for theaters all the way up until 2019, I think the fate of the Earth has already been decided in a corporate board room.

mad_max_fury_road_ver2Mr. Road Warrior himself Mad Max returns to the hellish highways of the apocalypse on May 15 in Max Max: Fury Road. This fourth outing for the character, with Tom Hardy in the title role and co-starring Charlize Theron, has Max trying to rescue a group of fellow apocalyptic travelers from the clutches of a crazed outlaw gang of motorheads.

In other words: More merry Mad Max mayhem!

A remake of the family-scarer Poltergeist is out May 22. I’m interested in this one, if just because the original 1982 film about a girl vanished into the guts of a family’s haunted house gave me the heebie-jeebies as a youngster. I mean, Poltiergeist has one of the kids in the movie being practically eaten alive by a tree one minute and terrorized by a clown doll the next. C’MON!

It helps that this new Poltergeist is being produced by Evil Dead horror auteur Sam Raimi too.

A fourth Jurassic Park movie, Jurassic World, is set to bring a little chaos to theaters June 12. While this is being billed as a sequel to the first three films from 1993 to 2001, to me Jurassic World looks to be an reboot of the Jurassic Park franchise as a whole. The trailer for this one has a slew of people visiting Jurassic Park when something goes wrong that turns loose the dinosaurs to chomp on some unsuspecting folks. Or, it’s a bigger version of Jurassic Park sans the guiding hands of Steven Spielberg.

Terminator: Genesys, the fifth film of that franchise, will “be back” in theaters July 1 with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Due to the vagaries of time travel, this time he’s joined by a young Sarah Connor (now Emilia Clarke) as the two along with Reese (now Jai Courtney) fight off a bunch of different and deadly terminators out to put an end to the Connor timeline once and for all. Or at least until the next movie.

Marvel movie #2 is Ant-Man out July 17. There’s not too much known about this one other than it stars Paul Rudd in the title role of a superhero who can turn incredibly small. But if Ant-Man follows the Marvel Mold™ of late it’s no doubt that the fate of the planet will be in Ant-Man’s teeny-tiny hands.

poltergeist

A fifth Mission: Impossible movie, simply titled Mission: Impossible 5,  is out July 31. Even though I probably shouldn’t I’ve enjoyed the Mission: Impossible movies since the first one was released in ’96. Even if the missions the M:I teams have gone on over the years/sequels have gone from impossible to impossibler to “there’s no way in heck they’d be able to do any of this stuff whatsoever!”

The final Marvel movie out this summer, that’s really a Sony one, is Fantastic Four. A reboot of the Fantastic Four films from 2005 and ’07, this version looks to put a new, darker spin on the big four. Or, if it works it could be the dawn of a new age in the tone of comic book movies but if it doesn’t we might just have another Catwoman on our hands.

Premiering on TV screens before Mission: Impossible in 1964 was Man from U.N.C.L.E., the first series to take inspiration from the James Bond films to a TV series. Now a film version of U.N.C.L.E. is set to close the summer movie season August 14. This 1960s period piece seems to be equal parts Jason Bourne and Austin Powers.