A mummy isn’t scary!

The scary thing about a character thing like the mummy is, well, he or she really isn’t that scary. Ever since the original The Mummy movie was released in 1932 Hollywood has been remaking and trying to make the mummy scarier than it was last time around. But honestly, the mummy is such a benign character it really can’t ever be scary.

The Mummy 1932
The Mummy 1932

I mean, what’s scary about a creature that consists of moldering, rotting bones only held together by a few bands of cloth that can only walk at a snail’s pace? Something that’s so dry any spark would ignite the bandages and so clumsy it seems to want to trip and fall at every step? In many ways a mummy is like a really lame zombie that doesn’t ever really do anything.

That’s not to say mummy movies haven’t been interesting or good ones, just that they’re never all that scary.

The most recent spate of mummy movies began in 1999 with The Mummy directed by Stephen Sommers. That movie was a sort of end film to the 1990s reboots of some of the Universal Monsters that, along with The Mummy, included the likes of Dracula (1992) and Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein (1994). While those two films did play up the scary elements of those characters, the 1999 The Mummy instead pushed that film franchise into adventure territory.

The Mummy 1999Almost a melding of an Indiana Jones style movie crossed with horror movie, The Mummy starred Brendan Fraser as Rick O’Connell and Rachel Weisz as Evie Carnahan. Rick’s an adventurer who talks with his fists and when his fists are busy substitutes chatting with two blazing pistols. Evie is a scholar who needs Rick to take her to a hidden tomb where they accidentally release an ancient mummy that unleashes its ancient curse on Egypt.

The Mummy was one of the very first movies I covered for my website and I remember liking it a great deal. I saw it in the theater and picked up a DVD copy of the movie as soon as it was available.

There’s lots of action and a little horror in The Mummy, but for the most part The Mummy is a safe film the whole family can enjoy. Which is pretty much the exact opposite of what a good horror movie should be. Creatures like Dracula and Frankenstein and the Wolfman are there to scare the audiences. But out of all those monsters the one that’s the least scary is the mummy.

Which is interesting because the first film of what’s planned to be a whole interconnected series of films all taking place in the same universe starring the Universal Monsters is a new The Mummy movie out now.

The Mummy 2017Starring Tom Cruise as Tyler Colt, this The Mummy takes place modern day with a female mummy (Sofia Boutella) accidentally being awakened by Colt and seeking vengeance on our world for what was done to her in ancient times. And, much with like the 1999 The Mummy, the 2017 The Mummy looks to be more like an action-adventure flick than something meant to make the kiddies wet the bed.

Which I guess makes sense. The movies making all the money these days at the box office from Captain America to Star Wars James Bond are really action-adventure movies at heart. And while Universal Pictures does have those kinds of movies like The Fast and the Furious and Jurassic Park, they don’t have any comic book movies like Marvel or DC and are being left out of that game. But they do have all of the Universal Monsters so why not try and make a film series out of that?

I love the Universal Monsters, I just wish that instead of going the action-adventure route, that Universal instead would have the guts, he-he-he, to go for horror instead. Who knows, an R-Rated The Creature from the Black Lagoon might just be what audiences are looking for rather than PG–13 toned-down horror-lite movies that it looks like Universal is set to produce?

If successful, though, expect an Invisible Man movie starring Johnny Depp and a Frankenstein one with Javier Bardem along with Wolfman and Creature from the Black Lagoon to rise from the grave in the near future.

That is if The Mummy is successful.

Direct Beam Comms #78

Movies

The Girl with all the Gifts

The Girl with all the Gifts is probably the closest film adaptation to the story I Am Legend I’ve ever seen and the character Glenn Close plays of Dr Caroline Caldwell is probably the closest we’ll ever get to the novel version of Robert Neville even though the story of I Am Legend has been the basis of three films since it was written by Richard Matheson in 1954.

And I mean “closest” in a great way.

In The Girl with all the Gifts, it’s an unspecified time after a virulent fungal plague has swept the planet and turned those affected by it into green, flesh-hungry zombies. The UK military has abandoned the cities and has retreated to bases in the country in order to study the outbreak and come up with a vaccine lead by Caldwell. Enter a group of kids born after the plague including Melanie (Sennia Nanua) who have the infection but haven’t turned into blood-crazed ghouls and seem to be the key to finding a way to end the apocalypse.

But when the base is overrun and the survivors, including Caldwell, Melanie and a few soldiers lead by Sgt Eddie Parks (Paddy Considine) go on the run across a ruined landscape, the question is will they find the vaccine in time or is it already too late?

In many ways The Girl with all the Gifts reminded me of the movie 28 Days Later as well. I’m sure some of that comes from the fact that both movies take place in the UK and a lot of the action around London. But there’s also the idea of a few soldiers being left behind after things fell who are still working and fighting the hungries as well as a group of survivors having to trek across a apocalyptic country dodging the flesh-eaters to try and find a safe refuge. It seems as if most US based zombie stories are about groups holding up in some refuge which is something that happens a lot in the genera creator George Romero zombie films. In Night of the Living Dead it’s a farmhouse, in Dawn of the Dead a mall, in Day of the Dead a military complex and Land of the Dead a walled-off city. But in the UK zombie stories from 28 Days Later to 28 Weeks Later and even in Shaun of the Dead much of the action takes place with character on the run out in the open and very exposed

And this Caldwell/Neville character connection –– not to ruin things too much, but much like with Neville, Caldwell is so focused on coming up with a solution to reversing the apocalypse that she can’t see that a new order has started to emerge which is changing the balance of power on the planet.

Unfortunately, The Girl with all the Gifts comes at a time when we seem to have reached “peak zombie” with there being zombie movies like World War Z and TV series like The Walking Dead to name a few. So any new zombie movie like The Girl with all the Gifts has to somehow stand out from what’s come before to get noticed. Which I don’t think the movie did very well. How can it when it’s competing with nearly 50 years of zombie history with most of that created in the last 15 years? Unfortunately, The Girl with all the Gifts only made a reported $2.6 million at the box office, meaning good movie or not I don’t think we’ll ever see a sequel to The Girl with all the Gifts.

While I thought that The Girl with all the Gifts did a good job of changing enough things with the well-worn zombie genera to make that movie different to the stories that have come before, there was one part of it that made me laugh. At one point one of the soldiers is off scrounging for food when he comes across a rack of nudie magazines which he begins pursuing. “Oh no,” I thought, “this guy’s dead for sure.” Since in horror movies the quickest way for a character to get killed is by having sex I figured that by this soldier reading a nudie mag that was probably the closest thing to sex this movie was going to get so I put two and two together and… Well, you know the rest.

Lucky Logan trailer

TV

The Carmichael Show

The third season of The Carmichael Show premiered on NBC last week. It’s a show very much like a Community or Arrested Development that gets a lot of critics talking about it and a lot of praise but is a series the network doesn’t know what to do with since that praise doesn’t equal viewers. With The Carmichael Show we get a series that had a first season premiere at the end of August 2015 for six episodes then a second seven months later in March and now a third more than a year after the end of the second at the end of May and has constantly changed nights and times along the way.

The Carmichael Show is very interest, and good, in that it’s a sitcom that’s actually about something. It seems like most sitcoms these days are about nothing whatsoever and after a viewing they’re quickly forgotten. But not The Carmichal Show that started this season with an episode about rape and then one about whether or not soldiers are great simply because they’re soldiers, or if they can be just as bad as regular people too.

I think because The Carmichael Show focuses on some serious subject matter that harkens more back to the sitcoms of the 1970s than the 21st century and doesn’t end each episode on an “awww, isn’t family great?” moment that seems to be a prerequisite for each and every modern sitcom is why The Carmichael Show is such an overlooked show. Maybe in a world where where our day to day reality can be somewhat bleak at times, to have a show like the The Carmichael Show say, “yeah, the world might be bleak but that doesn’t mean we can’t make fun of it,” turns some people off who’d rather be watching reruns of The Big Bang Theory on TBS while wearing their “Bazinga” t-shirt.

The Deuce TV spot

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2pXEzIQnUs

The Gifted TV spot

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYT-SxInt64

Books

Planet of the Apes: The Original Topps Trading Card Series

I had no idea there was ever a card series based on the Planet of the Apes movie series, but apparently there were at least three sets released over the years. One for the original Planet of the Apes movie, one for the live-action TV series and one for the Tim Burton movie. All of which are being collected in this new Planet of the Apes: The Original Topps Trading Card Series book due out this week.

From Amazon:

This deluxe collection includes the fronts and backs of all 44 cards from the original 1969 Topps set based on the original film; all 66 cards based on the 1975 television series; and all 90 base cards, 10 sticker cards, and 44 chase cards from the 2001 film. Also included are four exclusive bonus trading cards, rare promotional images, and an introduction and commentary by Gary Gerani, editor of hundreds of trading card series for Topps…

The Reading List

This week in pop-culture history

  • 1982: Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan opens in theaters
  • 1984: Gremlins opens in theaters
  • 1984: Ghostbusters opens
  • 1986: Invaders from Mars debuts
  • 1989: Star Trek V: The Final Frontier opens in theaters
  • 2014: Edge of Tomorrow is released.